sneak peak: wedding plans

a shot from a movie I am making about my family; title: "unknown family in norway moves far east - is this the new frontier?"

and I thought, after that
but maybe one day someone will look at my love poems and say, wow, that girl had some insights, she really saw love for what it was, man, she grabbed love by the balls, cracked love down on the ground, looked deep into love's eyes while love was plastered to the floor, unable to move due to the sheer overwhelming strong yet feminine muscles of her upper arms, and she took love by the head and french-kissed love. Yeah, that was something love never recovered from, but was forever crippled by; her tender, flexing arm muscles gleaming with the salty sweat from her one thousand push ups, oh, she was strong, that lovely maid. Scratch that last part, but I have really been writing love poems - they're deep and complex and tackle some incredibly challenging topics such as loss, longing, despair, anguish, mystery, intrigue, murder, detective novels, art and life, whether juicing vegetables truly is good for you or just good for the juice-a-slush-producers, and yes, that is a real brand name, I live right next to their main outlet, and the pasty smell of carrot peels wafts into my room early every morning, god, it's terrible but it wakes me up. The reason it's almost always carrots is because carrots make you live longer and have lots of health benefits attached to them, but only if you peel them really early in the morning - it's got to do wit moon cycles and circadian cycles and god knows what, hence the pasty smell that you might have been surprised by earlier, which comes from the wax that builds up underneath the carrot skin during/throughout the night (central American time, so the Hungarian juicers have to open at 2 pm and close at midnight - a very unsustainable lifestyle, if you ask me, which is why there are no juicers in Hungary, none at all, and if you tell me you've seen one I know that you're lying for sure), which is why you should never eat carrots unpeeled (meaning, with the peel still on, it means that they are not yet peeled because no one has peeled them yet) early in the morning, unless you're in Hungary where they can afford to do that sort of thing but can't even maintain a decent juicery, if you ask me. 

blest

noen dager er skikkelig vanskelige. kroppen føles tung og jeg aner ikke hvorfor noen i det hele tatt kan ha troen på det jeg gjør og det jeg liker å drive med. jeg klarer ikke å jobbe fordi jeg forteller meg selv at jeg ikke gjør det noe bra, og blir helt demotivert. det er selvsagt en ond sirkel.

jeg var i chicago denne helgen, og det var veldig rart. i hovedsak fordi det virket som om mange muligheter kom min vei, men jeg vet ikke hvor kritisk jeg burde være til dem. noen sier, hei, la oss gjøre dette! eller, jeg vil at du skal være med på dette! på den ene siden vil jeg si at, ja, det vil jeg gjøre, selvsagt! jeg er jo ung, og det er det jeg skal gjøre? tenker jeg. klisjeer som at vi må hoppe i det og ta livet på strak arm osv osv funker en stund, men ikke hele veien. jeg må stoppe og tenke meg om, og nå føler jeg at jeg knapt kan henge med. er det slik det burde være?

jeg henger ikke med, jeg henger ikke med. jeg vil ta det saktere, men alt rundt meg går bare fortere og fortere. jeg vil ikke stresse, så jeg prøver å være langsom, forsiktig. ikke utspekulert, men intuitiv. jeg vet ikke om det funker, jeg vet ikke om jeg gjør det riktig, spiller etter voksenreglene. jeg kan ikke reglene, vil jeg si, jeg vet virkelig ikke hva de er! karriere? networking? kontakter, venner, bekjente? 

da lengter jeg tilbake til Norge. ting er ikke enklere der, men de er det. ting kjenner deg, folk kjenner deg. det handler ikke bare om hvem du kjenner, men om å være ordentlig. ting er vanskelige der, det er klart, vi har politikere jeg ikke forstår, en vanvittig oljeindustri og mange paradokser, og vi er bortskjemte. men det er landet jeg kommer fra, og det er dit jeg lengter når ting blåser opp rundt meg.

scissors and scissors, knives and other knives, blunt and otherwise [running]

The back of a beading (lining) looks like a sweet potato ready to be baked! And I painted over writings on the wall. It was (is) ink, and then it was something else! Paint, white and grey and black. Writing this blog has also become somewhat of a strange thing; before I was writing for myself and whoever read it, but people now tell me about reading it, and I think, well, what are they reading, or, what are they looking at. So I will try to do something here, which is not go back to being oblivious (I do, after all, want people to read this, or appreciate it, or something), but to try writing about what I care about, not thinking what is expected. To be conscious and graceful, that is difficult, and I have a hard time with it. But it is also rewarding, perhaps? 

(Apropos, if you read Swedish, this is also great on a Monday February morning.)

Other things which are happening, and something I am sharing because I know people read this, is that I'll be in an "exhibition" (actually an art fair, but I sort of cringe when I write that) in Chicago in a few weeks. It's called Multiples, and it's on the 15th and 16th of March. I will be there doing something and showing something and interacting with someone! I am excited/scared/weirded out, since I feel half-conditioned to despise art fairs and other such commodifications. At the same time, I'm probably an attention prostitute and shameless self-promoter (I do, after all, write this blog), so I will go there and show something. Then write about it. 

To be honest, it's an art and craft fair. That makes me cringe even more, "why are you doing this?", but I also think it's kind of interesting to do things you're completely insecure about and which seemingly go against several values you tell yourself to have. Ahh, I'm just trying to justify this for myself and anybody reading... Updates on this to come.

I will continue writing about this as I process this, my battery is currently dying, so this post is not as long as I'd like it to be. There are also other things I'd like to write about, but that will be for the next post! 

wall drawings /small drawings

Hello,

after some absence

here are some teasers and sneakerz. 

I made a tiny drawing, still in the making. It takes a long time, and I feel a little self-absorbed doing it.

And then I made some large drawings, and they didn't take long at all.

Just to illustrate the contrast.

More to come. Thoughts, too, I don't have those right now either. It's almost midterm critique, so my mind is in a slow, calm and unstressed crisis. Whehey. 

Misc from ArtFCity Roast!

So I got to participate in the ArtFCity's Roast as a volunteer, and here are some selected, telling photos from the event:

 Photographer's shoes.

 Berlin is always a good idea.

 Beads are also always a good idea.

 Open back.

 "What's art anw?"

 So many condiments.

 Glitter purse.