totally starstruck and trying to pretend that I also have OCD

I made another ink drawing, something more like a sideways torso this time. It takes a few hours to make one of these, since they're still not too large. I pasted this one up on the wall too...

And the next morning I took it off, as it somehow hadn't come off by itself.

The "skin" after, shed from the wall, is somehow much, much more satisfying (also upside-down) than the original paper, and even the paper on the wall, as if it goes through some strange metamorphosis, an evolution, from drawn and cut out (good enough) -> pasted to the wall with water (the delight can be felt at this moment, I relish!) -> the wrinkled and debilitated paper is a little less sturdy now, that it's off the wall, some impressions left on the back of it.

Incredibly satisfying.

So, on my way home last night from an event hosted by Asymptote at Housing Work Cafe (they interviewed Anne Carson, which already makes me shiver and remember the time when I met her*) (which was v. good, especially when the translator of Bei Dao and Jorge Luis Borges came up... He was v. funny, and had a good pick-up line about asymptotes ("Girl, you must be an asymptote, because I just find myself getting closer and closer to you!") which is automatically a plus in my book, especially if that person is 50+, and not actually hitting on anybody.

Back to the point. After this event I was on my way home, and I was thinking about a failed photo installation I tried making at the end of this last semester, to wit, Ann Hamilton's corpus. It was an installation at Mass MoCA, where there were a series of machines (seen at the top of the photo below), regularly dropping papers made from onionskin. I never saw it (but hoping and praying), but I imagine it must be quit extraordinary.

Image found here. I suppose the reason it reminds me of it is because 1. I subconsciously like to associate all of what I make, no matter how insignificant and minute, somehow relates to some or other great artist's work that I admire and aspire to be like, and 2. because of papers falling. I am not sure if I should continue with this project, as it seems too similar to what I've been doing before, and shouldn't I go totally crazy and do something very unlike myself? I am genuinely curious, but might just continue doing this as some sort of exercise to see how long I can do it for, how patient I can be (not very), and if I can find out anything else from it.

 *she came down from the sky in an apparition. Some people say this never happened to me. (she actually signed two copies of her books for me, but she looked at me when I said thanks. V. starstruck)

Kara Walker, ink and art; long silvery arms

   "The one who least understood all of this was my deaf cousin. When we helped him down, pulling him--as I explained to you--by his legs, Mrs. Vhd Vhd lost all her self-control, doing everything she could to take his weight against her own body, folding her long silvery arms around him; I felt a pang in my heart (the times I clung to her, her body was soft and kind, but not thrust forward, the way it was with my cousin), while he was indifferent, still lost in his lunar bliss."

from Cosmicomics, by Italo Calvino

I made a drawing with many small lines, much as I've done before. I tried pasting it to the wall with some water.

The scale, to my hand.

And I thought about this:

Image found here. 

It's a piece called Testimony by Kara Walker. It's naturally because I made a silhouette of sorts, as she does, and pasted it to the wall. Well, we'll see where that leads, for now it feels like exercises, like doing some specific things to discipline myself, although it might not mean much in itself. Making myself do something, like draw many, small lines, one after another, with small brushes and ink, on thin paper. 

So perhaps if I make many and paste them on the wall, the imprint will be interesting? Or I will have learned something?

When the silhouette fell of the wall, this is what it looked like:

I thought it was interesting, especially the imprint left on the wall, and the paper like a leaf falling off a tree.

Back to bondage

This is the video to the song What Now by the accomplished lady Rihanna, have a look at 2:52. This will be a continuation of what I've begun to write about before, namely harnesses, containment of the body and, to some extent, bondage, since those are quite linked. It sometimes feels like what I'm interested is divided into two quite opposite sets of ideas; either way, my friend gave me a leather belt, and I decided to dishevel it,

I'll come back to that belt.

Anyways, Rihanna. Here are some stills I took from the video:

The fingers and nails. Something quite grotesque about it. I recently watched Disturbia for the first time , and it was similarly strange to watch. Of course, very sexy and attractive and all that, and also bizarre and grotesque. Lady GaGa seems to use the same thing, there is some sort of balance there, perhaps something that came after Black Swan? Or before. It's nonetheless part of the same trend. And it's not grotesque in the way of The Conjuring, but in a sexy way, quite innocent. It's not weird when Rihanna twists her body strangely, contorts it, and sits in a corner twitching, it becomes a way for her to incorporate other references, perhaps appealing a little to another audience, and expand her image from just sexy, because she dares to be "disgusting" or "contorted" (of course, while wearing a see-through dress). Hmm, I don't know how relevant that is or what point I'm trying to make, but I'm trying to understand where my fascination comes from. How does that make beauty? How is it attractive, and why do I think it is? 

Now, see, these are really interesting to me; I suppose it's mainly the movement, the act of falling backwards (there is something about it), that I'd like to do, or to use, in one way or another. 

 I like the contortions a lot. I think they're interesting movements, and it's fascinating to think about human bodies glitching or jarring, or there being something jarring about a movement that is unexpected or more mechanical than fluid and "human."

Where was I going with this...

Right, bondage and harnesses. I wrote a lot about it earlier, mainly because of a school project, but I didn't really finish my thoughts on it. I came back to it because of the belt my friend gave me, which now that I disheveled it, makes a nice sound when whipped around, very soft. It reminds me of this:

Full installation. 

Detailed view.

It's a piece called Mr. Jung's Flower Shop, and I made it for a class. I didn't think much of it at the time, and I also wasn't very happy with it, but I am coming back to it. I mean:

Come on. It was made from crocheting fake sinew together, and I made some flowers. I originally wanted to make a whole suit out of it, that someone could wear, perhaps with bells on. I will come back to that. 

So now that the belt is disheveled, I am trying to decide what to do with it. I thought it could be interesting to make little model costumes out of it, for tiny people, for example crocheting a sort of chain mail or lamellar armor or something of the sort... Updates to follow. Trying to gather my thoughts on this topic yet again will resume with the following blog posts.

Going back to what you knew (retracing)

I went to MoMA today and saw Isaac Julien's Ten Thousand Waves, a multi-channel video installation. There was a section about ink, too. Not sure what to write about that, so might come back to it a later point. It, uhm, hit close to home? I often wonder what this fascination with East Asian culture is - not just for me, but for a lot of people. Well, I can only speak for myself. Either way, back to the point. The video installation was good, especially the motions where the videos would work like a wave, moving up in a circular motion. And then Bjork came by.

This is very strange. I wish I'd known about this artist about four years ago when I was making something very similar. Her name is Sophie Tottie, and this is Written Language (line drawings), #VI. Apparently she drew one line, and then drew the rest coming out from it. It makes me want to sit down and just draw and draw tiny little ink lines on paper, but then I remember that I'm here to be uncomfortable and do New And Challenging Things, and I curse and decide to perhaps do it in the early mornings when no one's in the studio to see it anyways.

Another little candy from Ten Thousand Waves. My phone likes to make little stop motion videos when I've taken a lot of photos consecutively. It's sort of nice, even better than when Google+ makes my "auto awesome" photos snow.

Again I forgot to photograph my studio. Basically, after going to MoMA and then to buy some sweaters I danced for the rest of the day. I've decided to get better control of my body, and if I'm going to have a go at performance again anyways and so on and so forth, you know, might as well get stronger at the same time! So I'm trying to do really slow exercises, and they work like this:

Sit on your chair. Fall of, really slowly. Get back onto the chair, also really slowly. 

Stand up. Fall to the floor, you guessed it, really slowly. Get up again, yes, slowly again!

I once saw a photo of a performance artist who fell down a staircase, but incredibly slowly. I am trying to find her name now, but that is something I'm very interested in. Otherwise, here's some eye candy (literally and, well, literary as in intellectually. Brain candy?). Notice the way he "falls" graciously down those stairs.

To be scared shitless, and being really, really cold

So I have arrived in New York! I came four days ago, and two days ago my program started. A brief introduction:

I go to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, and I am doing a semester in New York. It's a studio residency program in Dumbo (underneath the Brooklyn bridge), where we get our own studios and work independently alongside 18 other students from art schools elsewhere in the United States. I have also moved into a little room, and installed myself accordingly:

Mmm, books. So delicious. I also have Norwegian chocolate, at least for a few more days, and even brown cheese. Was v. scared the first few days here; should I even be here, will I make good art, what if everyone's better than me, and so on and so forth. Fear have subsided, but have decided that being uncomfortable is a good thing.

Then, after that was done, I went to the Met and saw a great exhibition of Chinese ink art at the museum. This is Huang Yan's Chinese Landscape Tattoo No. 2 or No. 4:

And Xu Bing's The Written Word: Book from the Sky which was incredible. I'm probably jinxing myself by saying this, but I'd like to make something that makes me feel like this. And writing, and books, and paper.

I have also begun working in the studio... More pictures and updates to come on that note, but I think it will be a good semester. I've decided to keep a workbook yet again, as my high school art class prompted. It is good to write it down, which is why I decided to also blog about this experience. Processing something outside of my own mind is, for me, a healthy way of thinking about things.

We also went to the library at SVA (School of Visual Art) today, the school our program runs through. Amazing. Unfortunately, they have a great collection of manga. Good for me, not so good art- and career-wise! Had completely forgotten that Love Hina existed! Ok, back to work. MoMA next!

All photos are by me.